


Demonbusters

by JKFic



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989), The Exorcist (1973)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1970s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Demonic Possession, Gen, Insults, One Shot, Screenplay/Script Format, The Reason You Suck Speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 03:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16653781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKFic/pseuds/JKFic
Summary: Father Merrin resorts to unique measures to defeat Pazuzu and rescue Regan MacNeil.





	Demonbusters

Setting: The MacNeil house, Georgetown, Washington, DC.

FATHER MERRIN: I am sorry, Ms. MacNeil. This thing is too powerful to be defeated by faith alone. We will have to use a whole other approach.

CHRIS MACNEIL: What do you mean? Do you have to call someone? Who are you going to call?

FATHER MERRIN: Exactly. 

Father Merrin dials 212-555-2368.

In New York City, Janine Melnitz takes the call!

JANINE: WE GOT ONE!

Janine hits the buzzer, and Peter, Ray, Egon and Winston slide down the pole, hop in ECTO-1 and hit the road.

They arrive at the MacNeil house and Merrin and Karras explain the situation.

RAY: What are we doing? I can't blast a little girl.

PETER: We won't have to blast her. Watch this. (To Pazuzu) Hey, Stinkbreath!

PAZUZU: Hmm?

PETER: Yeah, I'm talking to you, you ugly piece of crap! Yeah, you're so big and bad, really takes a lot of guts to hide behind a little girl who can't fight back. But then, maybe that's WHY you're hiding behind her. You COULD have been given a bigger target, like a millionaire or a politician or a general. But you get the job of attacking a little girl, because back at the office the boss knows you haven't got what it takes. You can't handle a bigger job. This is your last chance, you blow this one and you're sent down to Hell's unemployment line forever. You are a weakling and a LOSER!

(Pazuzu is growling and clearly growing angrier.)

PETER: Why don't you try to prove me wrong? Let the girl go, and get out here and fight me like a man.

Pazuzu accepts the challenge, and flies out of Regan's body. The Ghostbusters blast Pazuzu with their proton packs, Egon opens the trap, and Pazuzu can't resist it, landing in the trap and the trap closes shut. Egon kicks it just to be sure. Regan is back to normal as a result.

FATHER MERRIN: Was that what you meant by fighting like a man?

PETER: I told him to come out and fight me. Did I say anything about how that fight would be conducted?

FATHER MERRIN: Well, no.

PETER: Exactly, so no one can say that what I did was unethical.

Regan is confused about what happened, but Chris is so happy to have her daughter back.


End file.
